When walking the halls of any given high school in America, you might hear such slander as “I hate College Board,” or “these APs are killing me.” In my humble opinion, this disrespect and lack of gratitude for the hardworking College Board is appalling. After all, the College Board is here to help us on our way to academic excellence! 

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My downright favorite part of the College Board is the AP’s. The AP’s provide an exceptional system to deeply understand and analyze topics they deem appropriate. The main focus of every class centers on how to answer the questions specifically to college board standards, in the perspective they require, which is often excitingly vague or a rejection of creativity. My personal favorite aspect of my AP courses is the fact that I cannot physically learn everything necessary for the exam. These elements creates the perfect mixture of stress and fear needed to strain out a 5.

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In full honesty, the SAT is the perfect method for standardized testing. The test is specifically catered to your needs. If you are wealthy enough to afford tutoring and practice materials, of course. And I, being a bit of a history buff myself, love the incredibly fascinating history behind the College Board and their lovable SAT. Started in 1899, the non-profit was created to help protect the jobs of white workers which were threatened by an influx of immigrants. Following this, the Scholastic Aptitude Test  was created in 1923 to prevent the "promiscuous intermingling” between races in the workforce. I think it’s really very progressive of them to adapt to the changing world by continuing to strengthen the disparities in accessibility between wealthy, typically white students, and less privileged students. Yay!

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But I haven’t even told you the best part yet. Yeah, institutionalized racism is pretty hard to beat, but the college board is mega rich, and they are super ambiguous about it. I do love a bit of mystery; not quite knowing when my suprise party is, or why the institution, whose tests can decide my chance at getting into college, is investing large sums of its 1.6 Billion dollar revenue  in suspicious Caribbean hedge funds. The whole “not revealing where any of its money is going” thing is super sexy to me. And you know what money gives you? Power. And you know what college board has a lot of? Money and power. They have the power over everyone's education, which is, like, so hot. My entire education and future is controlled by the college board. If I’m a idiot and decide not to play their elaborate, intellectual game, then the prospects of getting into many colleges are *poof*, gone! It’s such an incredible system! The College Board reminds me of those grotesquely huge and exploitative monopolies I’m learning about in AP US History, -wait, hey! Studying the APUSH exam has been helpful after all! 

 

God bless America and the College Board.